It's not stealing.

A says:
have you heard the "i stole cigarettes from the ashtray" anti-smoking ad?
B says:
nope
A says:
i heard it on the radio yesterday. so it goes like this
(girl's voice) "my friends and I would sluff school and one day we stole cigarettes from an ashtray. and my friends were like "do you want to smoke it?" and I didn't want to be lame so I did."
"we sluffed school a lot so we started stealing more cigrettes out of the ash tray, and pretty soon I started liking it."
B says:
oh good christ
A says:
OK. First of all, that's not really stealing.
If I sneezed into a tissue and threw it on the sidewalk, and you come by and pick it up and wipe your ass with it, I wouldn't say you stole my tissue.
B says:
LOL
those fucking ads make me want to smoke
just because they're so gay
A says:
But, it's worse than that
B says:
uh oh
A says:
What about the SLUFFING????
So they're all bent out of shape that the kid smoked some butts they found in an ashtray, but NOTHING, no big deal, about the sluffing???
Seriously, the girl actually said "we sluffed a lot."
B says:
hahahahaha i didn't think of that
A says:
OK, if I had 2 kids, and one didn't smoke but was sluffing, and one smoked but got straight A's, guess who's ass is going to get a kicking??
B says:
hahahaha
that's so true
fucking anti-smoking people
i swear they make more kids smoke
if the kids are anything like i was
A says:
*shakes head*

Afternoon Delights

A says: (3:09:03 PM)
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/08093/869779-114.stm
A says: (3:09:25 PM)
Previous studies involving 1,600 people, he said, already had shown that the average time span for intercourse was only five to seven minutes.
B says: (3:09:43 PM)
didn't they only survey men?
B says: (3:10:01 PM)
seems like i read that before
A says: (3:10:19 PM)
... and that includes the foreplay, undressing, finding the condom, unsealing it, rolling it on... and also the "hold on baby, let me get you a tissue" at the end.
B says: (3:10:25 PM)
SHUT UP
B says: (3:10:29 PM)
lol
A says (3:10:33 PM)
:P
A says: (3:10:54 PM)
"Sky rockets in flight...... beeeuuuuuuuuuwwwwwup! Afternoon delight!"

Another day, another teacher, another student

A says: (10:10:20 AM)
http://www.heraldextra.com/content/view/260876/17/
B says: (10:10:49 AM)
god bless BFE utah
A says: (10:11:01 AM)
"I think of all the education that I missed, but then my homework was never quite like this..." -- van halen
B says: (10:11:20 AM)
hahaha
A says: (10:11:49 AM)
she's pretty hot though. I'd hit it... don't wanna get shot by the crazy ass husband though
B says: (10:12:40 AM)
dude seriously
"found his wife and the teen downstairs with candles and oils"
bahaha i love that they put that detail in the story
A says: (10:13:46 AM)
i liked the kid's "it was just a massage" story
B says: (10:13:54 AM)
clever ;)
A says: (10:14:27 AM)
but he should have added something to make it more believable, like that he is gay.
B says: (10:14:32 AM)
lol
i don't even LIKE chicks!
A says: (10:15:00 AM)
"I'm gay. I was just giving her a massage and doing aromatherapy."
B says: (10:15:07 AM)
bahahaha
with my pants down
A says: (10:17:11 AM)
"oh that... uh... i forgot my massage roller at home so I was just improvising...
B says: (10:17:35 AM)
LOL
sick
but amusing

Volunteer

A: (4:18:29 PM)
this dude needs volunteers... http://flickr.com/photos/15702350@N00/2360087606/sizes/o/
B: (4:19:28 PM)
"...which will then be exhibited in a way that all subjects are compared and contrasted."
B: (4:19:30 PM)
lmao
A: (4:19:43 PM)
lol...
A: (4:20:42 PM)
"i'll volunteer, if you are like one of those caricature guys at the park, you know, the ones who draw really big heads on people..."
B: (4:21:23 PM)
LOL
B: (4:21:25 PM)
hahahahahahahaha

A recent I.M. conversation:

A: This woman should have been booked for stupidity. http://www.sltrib.com/news/ci_8715725
B: No kidding
A: Not just for putting herself in front of a car to stop it, but also for thinking there is any guy worth getting run over.
B: I'm putting this as reason #1,763 for not getting married.
A: Well, just don't get married to a crazy asshole. Wait. We're all crazy assholes.
B: Ain't that the truth.
A: I'll be the first to admit that. I'm an asshole. Now fuck off.
B: LOL