Comparing Apples To Apples

Why do we have apple juice and apple cider?

On every supermarket shelf in America you bottles of apple juice, neatly arranged 6 wide by 6 deep, right next to bottles of apple cider, also neatly arranged 6 wide by 6 deep. As far as I can tell, and I have carefully studied the nutrition labels of both, they are exactly the same thing and they come from the same place.

No, as a matter of fact, I don't have much of a life. Now stop distracting my rant with your silly quips.

To me, the apple juice vs. apple cider conundrum is a failure of capitalism. Or it could be a success--it depends on how you look at it. Here in front of you at the supermarket are two bottles, each containing the exact same product. The only difference is the label. Which you buy is your choice.

Choice is a success of capitalism--I would never argue against that. But what are you choosing? This is not Coke vs. Pepsi, or even New Coke vs. Old Coke. It doesn't even amount to Coke in a can vs. Coke in a bottle. It's bottled Coke vs. bottled Coca-Cola. Tomato vs. tomahto. The fact that my supermarket offers me this "choice" is a failure of capitalism.

It's a failure of capitalism because it can't be more efficient to glue two different labels to the same bottle of stuff. But this redundancy probably does somehow employ more people. Over at the Old Orchard Juice Company there may be some guy who gets to decide when to throw the switch that turns the Apple Juice conveyer line into a Apple Cider conveyer line. In that sense capitalism succeeded because there is one less unemployed person though he probably lies to his mom and tells her he's an airline pilot.

Success or failure? I don't know.

All I know is that I pick the Apple Juice because I don't think it can be called Apple Cider unless it can get me drunk.